like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
