she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
