In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
