I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
