i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize