Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
