i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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