i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
