I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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