wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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