Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
