you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
