A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Panties = found
Randomize
