Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
