Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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