Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
