I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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