i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
