guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
