I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
