just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Semen is not good for contacts.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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