I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
