Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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