Can Purell be used as lube?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You pole danced in your parka.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
