he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
