How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
