Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
