hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
