I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
