Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
