apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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