I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize