the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
