that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
