that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
