why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
