wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
