Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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