Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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