I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
