Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize