I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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