She said her name was "party"
I don't think brook has ever known best
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
