It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize