was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
