There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Screwed.edu
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
