I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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