We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
