I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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