just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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