i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
