I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
