omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize