i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
