in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
