i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
