Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
