Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
