Michael Bay diarrhea
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you never un-have a 4some
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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