i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize