I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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